It's about 3 weeks I have been missing from my blog.
Reason?
I had just lost a family member which I dear, whom is my paternal grandfather. He passed away 2 weeks ago at the age of 89 years old. I wanted to take things slow after his funeral so I kinda abandoned this blog for 3 weeks now.
Cause of death? According to mum, grandfather went into coma and doctor said some virus infection in his organs. Well, my family was hoping for the best and we also expecting the worst case scenario due to his serious condition. When my parents went visit grandpa in hospital, he seemed hardly recognized people except for my parents. Not only that, he kept uttering some nonsensical words like "Babi!" and "Hantu!" in perfect Malay language. That kinda freaked out my aunts and uncle. He seemed soulless and his eyes were wandering up the ceiling of his room only.
Maybe because of that my parents were expecting the worst. Not only that, before grandpa were admitted into hospital, he kinda vomited and passed motion of something black-ish (according to aunt whom in charge of taking care of grandpa) and that is a sign whereby according old Chinese people, they believe that if an elderly that vomitted and passed motion something black-ish, it signifies that the person is near the end of his life span.
That kinda scared me because his coma came pretty sudden to me. After few days he was admitted to hospital, he passed away after his second son visited him in hospital. Dad said grandpa had been favoring my second uncle since little so I guess grandpa finally willing to go after seeing his dearest son for the last time.
Despite knowing he might leave within those few days, it still hard not to feel sad over his departure. My greatest regret over his departure will be I was not by his side at his deathbed. The funeral was held over 3 days and grandpa wanted to undergo cremation method instead of burying.
Things will no longer be the same after his departure.The last conversation I had with him was 2 weeks before his funeral. I wished I could have appreciate more of that moment back then. Once gone, it's forever gone.
On the last day, after sending grandpa coffin in to crematorium, I saw bunch of young teenagers beside grandpa crematorium. The youngster beside my grandpa crematorium was only 18 when he died and reckless driving (car accident) was the cause. A girl then slowly walks behind the crowd with injured face and broken legs, which I presumed to be the deceased girlfriend. Then, I was looking for this youngster family members and parents. Then later my mum told me that in Chinese customs, the old cannot send the young which means that any person of your family members whom is elderly than you cannot send you off.
Then, it struck me that having loss my grandpa whom aged 89 or more than a decade year old man had been heart ache to all of us already. What more to that youngster's family member especially his parents to loss a son at the age of 18.
My advice here is that to all of you out there please and please never drink and drive and please drive safely and never speed. Imagine how heart ache your loved ones will be if anything happens to you. Please appreciate your loved ones before it's too late.
I realized that I tend to appreciate my family members even more now after grandpa departure.
That's all for now.
p/s: emotional post is emotional. still feeling sad over his departure but life has to move on.
Shirley
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